|
Post by Matthew on Jan 6, 2005 23:11:04 GMT -5
This is twisted 2. It is in a different medium than the original, makes no references to the original, and shares nothing but the original's insinuation that there are a lot of twists within. I'm sure that the original twisted had more twists than my story, cause there is really only one, perverted, scary twist at the end. You never know.
2,167 words - 6 pages. I'll do one at a time:
|
|
|
Post by Matthew on Jan 6, 2005 23:12:31 GMT -5
Page One -------------------->
‘I saw lights. The ghosts were dancing around, interrupting that light. And this was all last night.’ Brian said with his wobbly twelve-year-old sense of honesty, pointing at the second story of the abandoned dilapidated mansion, across the road.
Bryan lived in a large house among a field of large houses. In one direction, his street branched off to a few other more wealthy streets. The street was the one vehicular path between the poor and rich residences.
And in the front porch of this rich little boy’s house, he sat with a couple of his friends. Currently at twelve, they didn’t have a serious or eternal cause to care about.
Tommy had gotten dropped over at twelve. He seemed as if he would grow up to be the smartest, and most mature of his group – which was only half present. His clean-cut appearance, and strangely formed sense of humour was developed at such a young age.
Sarah sat at the head of the expensive piece of outdoor furniture. She was seated at a right angle to both of the boys, who were head to head. It was almost as if she was playing ref to them.
Tommy was in an original relationship with Sarah. Their parents had been strong friends for an extremely long time. Tommy had been acquainted with Sarah before his brain was strong enough to record the event.
In the past couple of months, Tommy had grown to love Sarah in a way that was far from the plutonic, innocent, original love that existed beforehand. The months passed slowly, and Tommy couldn’t wait until they next played. That was probably the only reason he had grown to love school.
For the moment, Tommy and Sarah sat, both comfortable gazing into the resident’s wacky story about the paranormal.
‘And I don’t know why,’ Bryan added after the most dramatic pause that Tommy had seen. His head looked like it was chilling as he continued, ‘and I decided that I’d walk across the road, into the house, and find out if the ghosts were good or not.’
‘What happened?’ Tommy did not bother in hiding how riveted, how wrapped in this story he was.
‘Just give him another second to make the rest of this story up.’ Sarah giggled straight at Tommy.
Of late, she had joked in a different way with Tommy. It was a change in interaction that Tommy welcomed. It made him feel special, on the same level as Sarah, as if they were two of a kind.
|
|
|
Post by Matthew on Jan 6, 2005 23:13:54 GMT -5
Page Two ---------------------------->
Tommy smiled, now peer pressured by his love interest into scepticism. For a second or two longer than the joke deserved, their eyes connected.
‘I’m serious!’ He genuinely looked offended. ‘The ghosts were dancing on the second floor. They were laughing, and one of them was Italian.’
‘C’mon!’ Tommy reasoned as if he thought the rich kid was embellishing his story, or completely making it up. While reasoning, he knew that he would be in complete belief if Sarah weren’t there to influence his mind.
‘The house is completely abandoned. Ghosts aren’t real. One plus one equals: You’re a liar.’ Sarah pumped out fact and opinion, sentence by sentence.
‘If you two are both so sure that you are safe, why don’t you go to the second story and wave at me from behind the blinds?’ Bryan finally let his insulted defence become attack.
Tommy looked at the creepy old house, behind that bulky old, green gate. He stared up at the second story window, where he would have to wave from. The curtains were old, and ripped. Suddenly, something tweaked the curtain, out dented it from inside. Tommy’s stomach started to bubble. His arms started to tense up.
But there was nothing there. There couldn’t have been. Ghosts didn’t even exist. Tommy looked over at Sarah, who was silently asking him if they should do it? Tommy shrugged, and then Sarah said that they would do it.
Almost right after Sarah had accepted, her mother’s white Ford pulled up to the curb suddenly. Sarah excused herself, ran down to the car, talked to her mother for a second, and then made her way back to the porch.
‘We got some business to do. My mother apologised but said that she should have me back here in around five minutes.’ Sarah excused herself from the challenge. ‘So, are you going to explore the haunted house without me?’
‘Yeah!’ Tommy said, hoping that he sounded more confident than he was.
‘My hero,’ she said, smiling. She was jokingly being as helpless, as much the classic Hollywood broad, as she wasn’t. Tommy figured that she might have some sarcasm in her voice. But he was reassured when she gave the hero a kiss on the cheek.
The two waved at Sarah as she got into her mother’s car. Tommy couldn’t help but feel like this was the last time he would be waving to her. She kissed her open palm, and then blew it out at the boys.
After Sarah had left, Bryan held Tommy to her word. After a few minutes of trying to evade the horror without being called a coward, unsuccessfully, Tommy decided to go for it.
|
|
|
Post by Matthew on Jan 6, 2005 23:15:28 GMT -5
Page Three ------------------------->
Hey, it was about time that Tommy learnt to be an adult. The world was much safer than the horror movies depicted it, and Sarah was exactly right. Maybe if Tommy just took a deep breath, and walked in there, Sarah might appreciate the brave version of him.
Bryan led Tommy down to the green, metre-and-a-half fence that blocked the empty driveway, acting as if he, himself, would be going into the house. He was jumping around, excited, rubbing his hands together. Tommy rubbed his eyes, and then looked at the fence. It was unhinged at the bottom, so one just had to lift it and push.
‘Seeya.’ Tommy said without distinctive emotion, right before he disappeared between the slight gap that the fence left - without moving it.
The abandoned porch was under shadow. Tommy realised that he would not be saved by anyone, because the metre-and-a-half high fence would block anyone’s vision. The ghosts would get him.
They were dancing! Lights were flickering! Bryan had said. As Tommy approached, those parasitic thoughts were eating away his courage, and right after Sarah had topped it off for him.
He couldn’t help but feel like he was being watched. He even knew where the watcher committed his scary act. Every time he looked up at the old, green, psychedelic curtains, directly ahead, on the second story, he would see them move slightly. He would feel the eyes disappear for a few seconds. Then he would go back to feeling that scary, insecure emotion through his shoulders.
Nevertheless, Tommy pressed on. His feet made the transition from long, forgotten grass, which was hardly maintained, to the shonky planks of the first story’s porch deck. He felt the insecure feeling of being watched disappear as he passed under the window en route to the front door.
He squeezed his shaking, sweaty hand over the front door’s knob, and was comforted in knowing that nobody had broken through the front door’s flimsy lock. However, he reRegulared that ghosts could travel through walls. They didn’t even need to use doors.
Suddenly, Tommy realised that he had the perfect excuse to chicken out of this scary event without being called a wimp. When Sarah came back, he could just embellish his enthusiasm, and treat the god sent lock as an impassable obstacle.
He huffed, and felt his shoulders raise as he knew that he would turn back and then go home, and never come out this far, and get scared like this again. When he did turn, however, he was standing face to face with somebody, something.
‘Boo!’ Sarah said, removing her obscuring hands away from her face.
|
|
|
Post by Matthew on Jan 6, 2005 23:18:28 GMT -5
Page Four ---------------------->
Tommy was scared shitless, but managed to act cool. ‘Door’s locked. Looks like we have to turn-’
She suddenly kissed him. He felt something that he had only felt before, one in church, and once when he was watching a teen drama, in which the result of every scene was beautiful people kissing.
‘Let’s try to find a back way in.’ She said, the second their lips broke away. Before Tommy could respond, she grabbed his hand and led him around in a youthful run.
The backyard started as a dreadful view when at the side of the house. All you could see is a rusted truck, parked at the far border. It made Tommy think of a killer redneck, like in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
But as they travelled around the house, they noticed that the garden was beautiful. Vegetation thrived everywhere, and even up and down the wall, in the form of vines. A dirty pond was a semi-circular moat, around the backyard. A small wooden bridge let across the pond moat.
But that insecurity suddenly reappeared when Tommy spotted the back door – off it’s hinges and broken in half, on the other side of the yard. Where the door was supposed to be was just a dark empty passage into Tommy’s worst nightmare.
Sarah didn’t seem to notice; they ran to the bridge and made out, they ran to the back door, they made out, they found the bottom of a staircase, through the darkness. The couple fell backward, Sarah on top.
This time, Tommy felt her tongue press against his tightly shut lips. Slowly, he released the pressure that clamped his lips, and parted them. Her tongue entered his mouth, and eventually met up with his tongue. The tongues raced back into Sarah’s mouth.
Suddenly, Tommy felt a little more confident. He had taken a step into his fear, and had not been ripped in half. He was all right. He would be alright-
‘Who down there?’ A quiet, scary voiced asked from the peak of the staircase. The figure, man (ghost) was in complete darkness. So were the young couple in love and terribly frightened. Maybe if Tommy stayed quiet, he would be safe.
Doing exactly that, he put his arm around the small of Sarah’s back, pulled her close to him and muffled her wet mouth on his shirt. He put his hand on the back of her neck, which was completely sweaty. Her clotted hair was wrapped around Tommy’s shaking hand, taking it over like the vines were taking over the house. All the while, her neck was getting moister.
|
|
|
Post by Matthew on Jan 6, 2005 23:20:21 GMT -5
Page Five --------------------->
Eventually, the sound of footsteps ahead let Tommy’s hand slip away from Sarah’s neck. They both started to breathe again, nice and silent. He pulled her head up against his mouth, so that she could hear him whisper. ‘It’s a ghost. Let’s go.’
‘No. It can’t be.’ She reasoned, standing up. She shook, reluctantly sneaking towards the voice upstairs.
Tommy got to the highest stair, and watched his girlfriend disappear around a hallway corner. It was slightly lighter, as if people with regular eyes were living in the room. He decided to stay a few steps behind, in the darkness, until he heard that it was safe.
‘You were scared of a little kid?’ Another voice asked as Tommy watched Sarah walk to the hallway’s end, to the room with a lantern in the middle of it.
‘You guys aren’t ghosts?’ Sarah asked, mocking Tommy.
‘No, pretty girl, we’re your friends.’ One of the guys said.
‘Why are you sweating?’ Another asked.
‘I just got scared.’ She said.
We’re your friends. One of them had said. At that unofficial declaration, Tommy decided that it was safe enough to venture into the room of two people and his girlfriend.
But the room didn’t merely have two inhabitants. There were around fifteen people, all seemingly homeless, with raggedy clothing, and broken, op shop sheets. They were mostly sleeping.
In the middle, around the lantern, were a spoon, a block of white dust, and a needle, like you get at the doctor’s office.
The two awake were hardly awake. They were swaying, and smiling, and resting against the walls. One of them had a big rash on his underarm. ‘Oh, another one.’ He said, smiling. ‘We’re your friends.’
‘You wanna feel good?’ The guy asked Sarah. ‘Wanna whack?’
‘Whack?’
‘It feels good.’
‘Okay.’ She smiled.
‘Don’t give her too much. It could hurt.’ The other guy said.
|
|
|
Post by Matthew on Jan 6, 2005 23:21:29 GMT -5
Page Six --------------------->
‘You just want more for yourself.’
‘Kid? You joining in?’ The first guy asked Tommy.
‘I guess. That is, if Sarah is doing it.’
Sarah sat against the wall, in imitation of one of the sleeping bums. Tommy walked to the window, and pulled the curtain back.
‘Woah. Daylight.’ One of the sleeping bums said. ‘Shut it. Shut it.’
Tommy pulled the window up, and yelled. ‘It’s okay. Come over. They are friendly.’
‘Friendly.’ The sleeping bum said, resting his head back into the pillow. The shadow of the lighter and the bubbling spoon sort of made him look scary, like a ghost.
|
|
|
Post by Matthew on Jan 6, 2005 23:23:18 GMT -5
So that I'm less like a pervert, and more like an artist, I want to give everyone my metaphorical message:
"We grow up to become scared of monsters, and ghosts, and other assorted fiction. It's the ingorant people, the inhumane people, the evil people, that we have to keep out watch for."
|
|
|
Post by RAOL TITO on Jan 6, 2005 23:26:27 GMT -5
'splain the part about the twelve year old kids making out, you pervert.
|
|
|
Post by Matthew on Jan 6, 2005 23:30:08 GMT -5
Damn, Raol. Let me know when you are going to be here so that I won't.
The love element at such a young age: This shows that Tommy's life is working out for him, and he just ruined it, to get back to my overal perversity.
Why haven't you been writing any articles?
|
|
|
Post by RAOL TITO on Jan 6, 2005 23:32:05 GMT -5
Doing my own thing - trying to write a comedy book. It's better around here now that there aren't any people.
|
|
|
Post by Matthew on Jan 6, 2005 23:35:17 GMT -5
It's been too long. Login, PM me.
|
|